Lifestyle, Sisterhood

Fluid or Not

Back in the stone ages, “gay” just referred to anyone who was attracted to people of the same sex or who had a non-normative gender presentation or identity, but nowadays things are more defined.  Sexual Fluidity is becoming increasingly common among young people. A study released in August 2015 found that nearly one-third of American millennials identify as something other than straight, as compared to 14 percent of baby boomers.  If you can, think back to 1990 when conversations about sexuality were typically limited to gay or straight and maybe, once in a while bisexual. We thought we knew it all back then.  Do you think you can guess someone’s sexuality by looking at them?“Fluid sexuality is a more current and inclusive term which speaks to an individual’s sexual orientation that is open and changing, and not gender binary-based, and may lean more heavily towards one gender while open to all genders,” explains Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of “Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture”.  It seems like there’s an identity for pretty much everything, and the community of same-sex-loving and gender-non-conforming individuals has spiraled into a confusing rainbow of identities. Bisexual, pansexual, demiromantic, aromantic – the identities with which people label themselves continue to become more diverse and more mainstream.At first, we only knew about LGB. Then T was added and Q came shortly after. . . now we have LGBTQIA. What does all these letters mean? Well, you all know I had to do some research to write this post, so here’s what I found:

Lesbian: A female- identified person who is attracted romantically, physically, or emotionally to another female-identified person.

Gay: A male-identified person who is attracted romantically, physically, or emotionally to another male-identified person.

Bisexual: Individuals who are attracted to both men and women romantically, physically, or emotionally.

Transgender: Individuals whose biological sex is different than the gender with which they identify. Sometimes the term “born in the wrong body” is used, however this depends on the individual’s preference.

Transsexual: Transsexual individuals have physically altered their body in order to better match their gender identity. It is a term that refers to biology, not to identity necessarily, and it is indicative of a change in one’s physiology.

Queer: queer is an all-inclusive term referencing lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transpeople, and intersex persons. It was previously a derogatory term in the 1980s, however, it has currently been reclaimed. Queer attempts to reject the idea that the labels of lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender are able to explain any one person’s identity.

Intersex: Someone whose physical sex characteristics are not categorized as exclusively male or exclusively female.

Asexual: A person who is not attracted to anyone or does not have sexual orientation.Now, that you know all these terms. Can you really guess someone’s sexual preference by looking at them? Do you have what some people call Gaydar?  Yes.  No.  Not sure. . . check out this video, you will be surprised!  I think some of my younger friends just like to hook up – have sex any way if it feels good. To them, sex is a sport and everyone wants to be the quarterback. Of course I could be so wrong, because I’m not one of those baby boomers. But, I do respect the fact that everyone is entitled to do whatever gives them Joy. Therefore, if your sexual experiences give you much Joy, then let no one make you feel different. Fluid or Not, you should choose who to Love – just make sure they Love you back. And, the next time you are at the Club or at a Conference out of town, don’t bother trying to guess who is or who isn’t. Just enjoy the company of like minded individuals, and Live with Intention.

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  • Reply Jamala

    Thanks for clarifying all of this.. because i always was confused about this. It seems the more liberated society becomes the more labels are added.

    08/17/2017 at 10:01 am
    • Reply Neti*

      I also did not know all the terms and glad to post them. Thanks Dear.

      08/18/2017 at 2:17 am
  • Reply NERLINE

    I never really thought about doing research on all the letters. The more I tried to understand the more confused I get. I say do and be whatever makes you happy. Do you, boo! Thanks for this post, Neti! I learned a lot.

    08/21/2017 at 2:57 am
  • Reply Lenya

    A good and informative post as usual, Neti. I am with you, do whatever you like as long as it makes you happy. Happy new week, beautiful sis of mine.
    much much luv and a big big hug
    new look: Hello Weekend

    08/21/2017 at 3:54 pm
  • Reply Neti*

    Thanks Dear. Enjoy the rest of your Summer. .

    08/21/2017 at 5:42 pm
  • Reply Eugenia Russell Hargrove

    Great educational article. Lots to keep straight (no pun intended) nowadays. The “Gaydar” video an interesting approach to show us how we sometimes make assumptions about people based on what they look like as well as their mannerisms.

    08/25/2017 at 11:44 pm
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