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Mature Dating

Dating an older woman is quite the rage these days. Many women over 50 are more desired by men now, than when they were in their 30’s. Is 50 the new 30? Why are men so keen on dating more mature ladies? – –  She’s got her own life. Her own career, her own friends, her own apartment and her own money.  She can hold her own – this ain’t her first rodeo, so when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, she can manage without your constant attention. She knows what she wants – and doesn’t want.  And at this point, a woman over 50 is not afraid to say it. Not all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. But, most of the single women I know over 50 just want a GOOD man, period.

You don’t Need Him – You Want him. If you have gotten this far on your own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind you, there is really nothing you cannot handle. An older woman knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. But she would love one, for sure. The minute an older woman is seen out and about with a younger man . . . she is called a Cougar.  The general consensus on cougars, is not about a specific age but, who you date. So, if you’re 37 and dating a 34 year old, you are not considered a cougar. If you’re 35 and dating a 22 year old, then you are borderline and some will say you are. But, if you are 55 and dating a 30 year old, welcome to Cougardom! Also, keep in mind that being dubbed a Cougar in many circumstances is not really a good thing. In this type of relationship, it may appear that the woman is often in control. Some think that a woman who dates a younger man does so because she can easily manipulate him; that the man in question will be so awestruck by her attention that he will go along with whatever she says. But this is only a myth and certainly does not apply to every situation.

Then there is the May-December Romance:  When a dating couple has a larger-than-average age gap between them, they may have the term “May-December romance”. The month of May refers to the younger partner, while the month of December refers to the older partner. Although there is no set standard for this term, most relationship experts consider 11 or more years difference between two partners a May-December relationship.  There is nothing wrong with this kind of relationship unless one person decides to become a player in another party. Dynasty star Joan Collins was 68 when she married Percy Gibson 36 and she has declared that this marriage – her fifth – is her “happiest and last,” thanks to three things: “sex, sex, sex.”

How about a Boy Toy?  Often, older women who are newly divorced are only looking to have a good time. Getting involved with a man who isn’t looking for a serious relationship and wants to have fun is the perfect solution. Younger men have the stamina and carefree attitude to satisfy their need for a wild ride. So, if you’re looking to have some Fun without commitment then, look no further than a younger man. In the end, it’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons of such a relationship and decide if it is right for you right now!  Let’s see. . . the prospect of mind-blowing sex with an experienced, younger man, without the expectation of a long-term commitment ??  This is a tough call.

When you do find a Man/Partner/Significant Other:-

1. Don’t call him if he doesn’t call you.  Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. I know it’s tempting. But don’t do it. Get busy doing something else and time will pass quickly.

2. Don’t have sex until you’re really, really ready.  I know, you’re mature, smart and competent. Unless you can talk with your Guy about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Take care of yourself by initiating a conversation and sharing your needs and wants. If you are dealing with a grown-up man he will appreciate and respect you for it.

3. Do you Like this person?  His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. Start off with the positive and try to stay in discovery mode before you decide he’s not right for you. This keeps you open to someone who might not be your type. Because after all, your type hasn’t worked out well so far.

4. Do flirt like a grown-up.  Yes, grown-up women flirt and men like it! Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. And best flirt of all, dish out some compliments to him.  Just bring your femininity to every date. It’s the thing we have that men want most!

5.  Remember You don’t need him. You want Him. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.  Remember, even if he is not Mr. I Love You, there is something valuable to learn from every date. These are just tips, you should do whatever, whenever if it gives you Joy.

So what is it about a younger lover?  And, why would I want one?  Mmmm, let’s see . . a man my age usually has faulty plumbing;  has been there done that;  is tired and settled in his easy chair;  just does not have the get-up & go attitude I require and can just be Boring. . Ohhkkay!!  Still, I do not need a Boy Toy even though it has been said, that Young men keep you young. It is like a hit from the fountain of youth every time and the sex is off the chart . . . But, not all Boy toys are Great. Like everything else in life you have the good, bad and just mediocre. Dating in my 50’s was not too complicated, now that I’m older it is not so easy. Everybody aged 18 to 88 is just looking for a hookup, and I’m just not in a hookup kind of place. I have decided to continue to hold out for the real deal – someone worthwhile, maybe even age appropriate who’s got a few battle scars of their own and ready to Love completely. What say you?

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10 Comments

  • Reply Beauty

    Such a deep insight into this topic and definitely some food for thought. I also agree that it is best to hold out until you get the real deal no matter what age or stage you are in life..

    Now, can we talk about those shoes in the picture Neti? That heeled sandal is beautiful and you look hot as always.

    05/17/2017 at 12:53 pm
    • Reply Neti*

      Thanks so much Sis. I love shooze and these are very old & beginning to show their age.

      05/17/2017 at 1:33 pm
  • Reply nerline

    I really like the term May-December! “You don’t need him, you want him” is the best way to put it. Such Great tips! I don’t know where 50 will take me yet. I might need them in the future.

    05/20/2017 at 3:52 am
  • Reply Antionette Blake

    I hope never to find out because if anything were to happen to hubby I doubt if I would want to date again – too much drama!

    05/20/2017 at 10:04 pm
    • Reply Neti*

      Yeah there can be lots of drama. Thanks Dear.

      05/23/2017 at 2:57 pm
  • Reply JOI @INMYJOI

    LOL Neti!! Slay on!!

    05/22/2017 at 11:37 am
    • Reply Neti*

      Thanks a bunch Sis.

      05/23/2017 at 2:57 pm
  • Reply Shelbee on the Edge

    Neti, I love this post so much! Although I am not in the dating game as I am very happily married, I totally agree with all the things you say about mature women. My husband is 7 years my junior (does that make me a cougar?) and now in my 40’s with my libido kicking into overdrive, it’s quite the ride! I am 43 and he is 36 and I tell him all the time that until he turns 40, I will tell people that I get to sleep with a 30-something! It makes me feel sexy…my younger man! Ha.

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    05/23/2017 at 9:40 am
    • Reply Neti*

      Thanks Shelbee. Enjoy Cougardom while it lasts and there are many more FUN days ahead.

      05/23/2017 at 11:34 pm

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