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    Mister

    His Best Friend

    MansBestFriend2

    Are you his Best Friend? You may think so, but do not fool yourself. Man’s best friend is actually his Penis. And he assumes it’s our best friend too. After all, like a dog, it’s always happy to see us, enjoys being petted and often rubs itself against our legs.

    And, have you noticed that guys are so intimate with their members that they often create pet names for them! Meet Mr Friendly, Dynomite, Big Boy and the ever-so-subtle Thruster! Women don’t make a big deal about what we have going on downstairs, because we’re too busy worrying about the size and shape of our other body parts. Men are obsessed with size because when they pull out the ruler – and they do – they almost always round up. If you ask a dozen men what the average length of an erect penis is, they’ll say Eight inches. But if you ask a dozen women, they’ll say it’s Four inches. Just so you know, the biggest erection on record belongs to Jonah Falcon of NY, said to be 13.5 inches in length. Whoa. . . down Thruster!! I suspect Mr. Falcon may be a very lonely man after all. Bottom line, no matter how small, tell him it’s huge. He will be so happy, and you could be one of his best friends . .

    Mister

    Mr. Almost Right

    Have you been on a lifelong search and just not met your Soulmate? Well here’s the thing about “Soulmates” – They’re kind of like an Illusion – and Illusions, as you must have noticed by now, are not much in the way of company at night. That’s not to say that true Love doesn’t exist and you ought to just settle for anyone with basic vital signs like Mr. Almost Right.

    It’s just that sometime, our romantic ideals get so estranged from reality that they take us further from, rather than closer to, real-life Love. When that happens, it’s time to admit a little imperfection into the equation and recognize that most of us can be perfectly happy, with a less-than-perfect someone. It could be that you haven’t recognized your soulmate because you see him as Mr. No Can Do or Mr. Almost Right – almost the right height, body type, or age; almost the right religious or racial background; or almost the right profession. Only God knows when the right one will come into your life, and many times Mr. Almost Right can, be the Love of your Life if you really get to know him. But it all takes time and we have to make time to be Loved. The person you never expected to love may bring you more happiness than you ever hoped to find.