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    Sisterhood

    Frenemy

    Frenemyyour friend-plus-enemy in one. Someone who pretends to be a friend but is actually a rival. Who is often helpful & complimentary, sometimes to excess. But deep down they harbor a second motive, which is to compete with or humiliate their “friend.”

    Every confident woman has at least one Frenemy. You may or may not know this person up close, but they are hiding in your almost perfect life.  They’re these females who pose as friends, but in reality, have ill intentions. These supposedly “friends” like to know about you and what’s going on in your life so that they can use it against you, copy you and take the credit, or celebrate your faults and mishaps. These girls are everywhere – at work, in your circle of friends, at the gym, or at your family’s BBQ.frenemy3

    Is she Complimenting you or Keeping you in your Place?

    The hard thing about spotting frenemies is that they usually don’t intend to hurt you. They just want to boost their own egos and feel superior. And the best way to do that is to make someone else, namely you, toe the line just behind where they want to be standing. A frenemy, therefore, uses compliments that have a demeaning subtext. Be wary if your friend gives you backhanded compliments and wants to be up in your space.  Those so-called compliments are a frenemy’s way of letting you know that she has lower standards for you than she has for herself. And that can be worse for your self-esteem than any put down from a known enemy.  The most dangerous of these are your work buddies. You know, that girl . . she not only wants your job, she also wants your Life!frenemy5The work Frenemy brings you news about others, comes to complain about her boss and solicits your comments to use against you. These “brown nosers” pretend to want to be better at their job. Beware of the new so-very-friendly girl who just wants to bond with you and does not have a boyfriend. If the boss is a man and he his very vulnerable she is the new “bait & switch” and can be threatening. Continue reading

    Sisterhood

    Workplace Shenanigans

    sexualharassment2

    Shenanigans in the workplace have been going on for centuries and some women have endured many kinds of harassment in order to put food on the table or advance in their careers.  But, men can also be a victim of verbal and/or physical harassment too. You may have the feeling you’re being harassed at work, but you’re not sure whether you have an actual legal claim. There can be a difference between what one individual employee feels is harassment and what constitutes illegal harassment under federal, state and local laws. Merely being bothered by a supervisor or co-worker, while unfortunate for an employee, does not necessarily mean you have a legal claim for harassment. But, workplace harassment has a very specific definition under the law and sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination. Each case of workplace harassment is unique and it rises to a level of illegal discrimination based on the specific facts.

    Verbal Harassment.  Verbal harassment can include jokes, innuendos, slurs, name-calling and insults, among other things.

    Physical Harassment:  Physical conduct, like hitting, pushing, groping and other touching, can be present in any number of harassment claims, but is often associated with sexual harassment.sexualharassment

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